Rondell & Tamais

Rondell, 24

Tamais, 1

"My father wasn't around and my mother was barely around, so it was difficult for me coming up. My father was a drug dealer. He got caught up. He was in jail when I was growing up. Mom was basically on the same wave, but she was partially around so I didn't really focus that much on not having a father, 'cause I kinda' had her and my grandparents. I started to notice my mom's true colors when I was little, around 3, but I was a mama's boy until the age of 13. That's when I started realizing things. The way she moved, how she talked to me. I learned from her that you can't trust everybody, no matter how much you love them. My grandparents stepped in to raise me but I was numb, basically. I had trust and abandonment issues."

"When I was younger I would find somebody to replace the people that wasn't doing their job in my life. There was a kid I went to elementary school with, named Timothy. And kindergarten, first grade, second grade, we did not like each other. At all. We had fights in first grade and second grade. He was a little mentally unstable and he fought me one day 'cause we had the same sneakers on. You know the ones where you step in them and they light up? He had those and he fought me like, 'why you got my sneakers on?' After that, he went to a military school. I met him back in 4th grade and we became best friends and we've been friends ever since. I found his family and his family treated me like their family. His mom is like my mom, his sisters is my sisters, his brothers is my brothers. They basically showed me what love from a family was. A complete, stable family. They supported each other and showed love to each other, no matter what they did."

"I learned a lot from my father's mistakes. That's why I am the way I am with him. No matter what relationship you have with your family, don't let that relationship refelct how you let your son or daughter see the bad that your family did. Even though I don't have a bond with my father, I can't keep my son from having a bond with his grandfather. At one point I really did think like that, like, 'my father didn't want me so why would he want my son?' But nah, you gotta X that out. Last week I let my son go with my father and he was completely content with him. He was good and gave me updates and everything. I approach it like, "if you can't have a bond with me, at least have one with my son. It's better to have a relationship than no relationship."

"When he was first born it was scary. Not 'cause of the whole, 'what I'ma do, how I'ma do this,' feeling but it was scary 'cause I'm real into my emotions and shit and I realized that I'm responsible for a whole person. If anything happens to him it's gon' fuck me up, so that's what scared me the most. I was scared but it was also exciting."

"Being a father is almost unexplainable, like...you have to be cautious with everything. Even with the way I talk to him. I try to always be positive and patient. He's only 1. I can say for sure, my only weakness is him being away from me. That's like my Kryptonite."

"I've had so many priceless moments with him. Like, the day I went and got his Flash onesie and my Flash shirt. We was just twinning all day. It was special. It was my first time ever doing something like that with anybody. It felt good. We were like a lil' unit. Everybody knows I love Flash, so they call him Kid Flash. I got a picture of it. That's my boy. That's when he was born. If you look at my Instagram, it's just him, like, that's all I care about. That's my baby."

"If I could tell him anything it would be, 'Tamais, I got your name from a Yu-Gi-Oh card, haha. One of the legendary knights of Atlantis. I planned that for future reference. Yes I did. Tamais. I already knew I was either gonna' name my son 'Dante' from Devil May Cry, or Tamais from Yu-Gi-Oh. The name was unique to me. I never heard it before. It's actually a river that flows through London, too."

"My favorite part about being a dad is the feelings. No matter what your child do, you gon' get excited. Like, if you see something he doing new, you gon' be happy. You gon' get excited. The feelings basically. Its something different. Something you've never felt before. For example, he's mad compassionate. He'll just come to me and pat me on the back. Lay his head on me. It just makes me want to give him everything possible. Anything I could, just to put a smile on his face."

"I always tell myself...ever since he was born, I told myself I'm immortal. I can't die. I'm gon' be here for my son, no matter what, I'ma be here. But, being a Black dad is scary. It ain't kinda, it is scary. From our president, to these cops shooting innocent Black people, like, having to watch that on social media... Seeing that and knowing you have a child that's gonna' grow up around that… No doubt, it's scary."

"I'm happy I have a son. I was 23 when I had him and he changed my life for the better. I was at a time where I was in a low point. I was depressed. He was something that made my depression go away. He was my blessing. I can say for sure, my only weakness is him being away from me. That's like my Kryptonite. Like, the first thing he does in the morning is he kisses me. Just his energy...his energy gives me strength. Anything he do, it just makes me happy and I feel as though me being happy makes me stronger. Even the little shit, like him sitting here trying to play games with me... He don't know what he's doing but he thinks he do, haha. These times I have with him are honestly the best moments of my life. I wouldn't trade that for nothing. He's my whole world."